Reply to Accepting that some people accept being treated badly

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents bend over backwards to help two of my siblings. They sacrifice their own activities and trips, they drop everything and rush to help at a moment's notice, they put themselves in bad financial situations to help them, they give up their own time and energy leaving them exhausted, they provide free childcare...and what they get in return is people who are not appreciative, don't mind taking advantage of them and at times actually are rude and disrespectful to them.

I have talked to them about it as they aren't getting younger (mid 70s) but they feel they have no choice. In their minds this is what parents do and they love their grandkids and they also feel like they need to do anything and everything to keep their DILs happy or else they will be not allowed to see the kids. Both my SILs are very emotional people who get their feelings hurt very easily.

I see the impact it has on my parents and they vent to me. My dad would be willing to make changes and say no sometimes but my mom just cant'. Since they give so much to my siblings, they end up turning to me when they need help (mostly time or to do something for them - they don't ask for money).

In one case my sibling and his spouse decided they need a SAHP so they are always strapped for cash and they have 5 kids so they are always needing a break or help. In the other case my sibling has a very hot tempered wife and my parents are always trying to rescue my brother and the 3 kids from her rage and keep her happy.

It just sits like a slow burning fire smoldering in the back of my head. We get together for family events and it really impacts my desire to even see my siblings.[/quote]

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