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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Meh. I'm mostly the initiator too. I don't mind. It's a lot of mental labor and I think some are just swamped with other things to make the effort. If I want to see people, I initiate  [/quote]

Doesn't that hurt your feelings, though? Like, if people wanted to see you enough, they would make the effort to initiate once in a while? [/quote]

NP.  I totally see what you're saying, but something I've learned in life is that not everyone is like me.  My best friend and I are super planners, so we both initiate phone calls, visits, etc.  But other friends aren't as good at planning.  It doesn't mean they aren't happy to get together and don't have a blast when we do (and it sounds like your friends are the same) - it's that they're not the kind of people to look beyond the day they're in.  It's like people who are on time versus people who are habitually late.  I am always on time (and by that I mean a tiny bit early) to everything I do because it's in my nature to do that.  I have other friends who are always late.  I used to think it was a reflection of how they felt about me (if they really cared about spending time together, they'd be on time, etc.) but it really, really isn't.  People are just wired differently.  The way I see it, you have two choices - one is to be hurt about it and stop hanging out with people who don't initiate as often as you do, but then you're really cutting off your nose to spite your face.  The other is to appreciate that everyone has fun when you're together and you are better at planning things than they are, so then you can just be happy to spend time with your friends.  [/quote]

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