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[quote=Anonymous]To the person who asked why I still speak to her, I don’t even know where to start. When I was a child, she ran very hot and cold. I was a smart child
and she thought I was beautiful, so she took great pride in those things. But she had a mean streak that was unbearable. If I did something to offend her, she would call me terrible names, worthless brat, spoiled, greasy hair, Veruca Salt was her favorite. In elementary school she’d take me shopping and if I didn’t like an outfit she thought looked good on me, she wouldn’t speak to me for several days. Each time I’d end up begging for her forgiveness after days of silent treatment and one word answers. This would please her and then everything would be fine again. My father was abusive. I can’t bear to put into words what transpired, but she became aware several years after I finished college. She now likes to tell me that she understands why I was such an awful daughter to her growing up, because it was what my father was doing to me and I took it out on her. No realization that they both were contributors in different ways.

Over the years as I’ve had my own personal and professional successes the hurt has dissipated but is still there under the surface. I am no longer in contact with my father for obvious reasons but don’t want to lose my entire family. I now have, based on an event that just transpired. When I muster the courage and, quite frankly, the anger to call her out on what she’s doing, she responds by condescendingly apologizing for being less successful than me and low class, which I further call her out on for being nonsense (it truly is nonsense; I never think of her this way).

As with so many of these posts seeking family advice, this barely scratches the surface. I could use some words from your experiences that things get better on the other side. I’m feeling so lost. [/quote]

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