Reply to Deciding on second and scared of something going wrong

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have a 17 month old who is awesome, bright, and always happy (still difficult with sleep and food so not “perfect” baby but up there haha).

I follow a few friends on Instagram and two had kids w Down syndrome (one tested one didn’t). Seeing their posts and grief in some cases to the life that could have been or the stress about the health issues and how relationship changes with the first baby, I’m so so scared of having a second. How do
You overcome an anxiety like that? I know it’s life but the photos and their posts make me cry every time I can sense the love and their sadness and I can’t imagine being that strong, I’d blame myself for ruining what we have. [/quote]

I would talk with a professional. It’s normal to have a fleeting thought like that, but clearly it’s enough that you’re consistently thinking about this to the point of posting here. You may have crossed over into unhealthy and unproductive thinking.  Also, step away from social media for a moment. Stop follows these friends. [/quote]

+1 Mom of 3 here. I totally understand this fear -it was rather consuming during my pregnancies and early infancies with both 2 and 3.  I have intrusive thoughts/anxiety too, and if you've gotten to the point where they are barring you from having a second child it might be very beneficial to talk to someone!

But another thing: when I meet the siblings of disabled people, I am always AMAZED at how well-rounded, other-centered, and accomplished they are. You're second child will most likely be healthy and happy too -but if s/he is not, you'll still have a loving family and your first will not begrudge you for it.[/quote]

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