Reply to MIL moved in and it’s not going well

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[quote=Anonymous]1. You need to repeat to her that you want to help her feel comfortable in HER house. Are there things she would like to change or things she would like to have? 
2. Can you instigate movie night? Poker/rummy/bridge night? 
Maybe see if she would play some card game on an iPad. Do the NYTs crossword together?
3. You need to let go of your assumptions that this is awkward instead of peaceful. See if you can get into playing soft music while you cook. Ask her for recipes and one night a week let her pick the meal. If she offers to help, let her. Maybe ask her to share a cup of tea before you cook. No need to talk, just relax and tell her minor blurbs from work. 
4. Not everyone needs to be happy to be content. You need to worry less about her and more about learning to ease your tension. It’s a hard adjustment to make, everyone has had to give up something to live together. The sheer presence of someone who cares may be all she needs. Try not to walk on eggshells around her. It will be obvious, but easily misinterpreted as her fault in her mind’s eye. She is the vulnerable one here. She is the one totally dependent on living there so she may be trying very hard to make her presence as negligible as possible. You cannot force her to be active in a new environment. You can help her feel confident enough to explore, but you made need to hold her hand a few times while you check out new places. [/quote]

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