Reply to weird, controlling vibe from one of DD's friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Girls are 13/14, incoming 8th graders. One of her friends is really mean to DD, frequently talks about her, says stuff like "I was with Larla and Imogen today and they were both talking about how bad you put makeup on", is sarcastic, etc. but then will yell at DD and send her text bombs about what a terrible friend she is if she hangs out with other people, "I don't know what I did to deserve you treating me this bad", "I guess we're just not friends like I thought we were."

I want DD to drop this friend. No one should have to wake up to 10 text messages about what a terrible person they are just because they dared hang out with a different group of friends. But she won't, because she doesn't want to be "mean" (Well who would "Sarah" hang out with then?"). Any advice?[/quote]

Mum of grade 9 DD here.  these years are tough.

If it were me, I'd probe why your DD doesn't want to be "mean", because that's really the issue here imo.   Ask open ended questions and try and suspend judgement.  Ideally, you want your DD to come to the conclusion these girls aren't her friends herself.  Then, if she does, be ready with strategies/ideas for her about how to deal with them/remove herself from them.

good luck...[/quote]

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