Reply to Extremely joyful kids with anxiety

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Extremely joyful kids with anxiety"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was this kid. I projected happy, positive and sunny because I was convinced that’s what people wanted, and was convinced that people would hate me if they actually knew me. I got such positive response to the happy behavior that it played into my thinking, that it was better to be fake positive than real me. The real me was probably a normal kid, but I worried so much about sticking out or being different that I couldn’t be myself. This continued as an adult, I was a people pleaser that couldn’t even tell you what I really wanted because I had shoved down the real me for so long. I’ve been in therapy now and am learning to speak up for myself and that the people I love won’t run from me if I express a not shiny happy feeling.

[/quote]

Op: this is breaking my heart.

My 4yo is constantly asking us if we still love her and is preoccupied with being cute and pretty. She is also concerned we will like another child more than her. Gosh. I don’t think she’s putting on an act yet. I think she is this happy and sunny. But I can totally see this happening in the future because everyone comments on her personality and disposition all the time.

Both my older dd and I are introverted and shy but extremely level-headed and sure of ourselves.

[/quote]

I wouldn't read too much into it at 4. They go through weird phases of needing reassurance on basic stuff. My 5.5 year old is ebullient and outgoing. Somewhat a mystery to us because DH and I are as you describe -- introverted, somewhat reserved, but level-headed and sure of ourselves. DS wakes up every morning wanting to know if he can meet new people that day. He talks to everyone. He is exhaustingly happy all the time. Sometimes I have to tell him he can't talk for 5 minutes because I need a break from the constant chatter.

He does have some anxiety, I think. He can be very rigid and rule-following. His teachers have been working on training him out of it, and likewise at home we try to give him opportunities to be spontaneous and to talk through strategies for not getting upset when the plan changes. I sympathize with him because I am the same way. There is always a plan and if the plan goes awry, it makes me twitchy. And I am definitely an anxious person.

It's very interesting to watch him and my younger child, who is 2.5. She is much more moody (though usually happy enough) and changeable, but also far more flexible than he is. She doesn't get upset when the plan changes. It's amazing how much of personality seems to be hardwired. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics