Reply to our beloved 14 year old dog only has two months to live....we need advice

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[quote=Anonymous]I feel you. Last year we had to put to sleep our 6 year old dog - she was my son (13) beloved pet was 13. My father recently passed away and my mom had a stroke. First of all allow your self to fall apart. Its OK. I did it when no one was around- took a day off work and just cried and cried and cried. That felt good and allowed to face what needed to be faced. We knew that my dog would die - just when as she had cancer, watching her regain her health on chemo was wonderful but I knew the shoe would drop, I just didn't know when. My son was hopelessly positive assuming she would recover. During the whole process 11 months - I was very open and honest with him about what was going on. He went with me to vet appointments, asked questions and was invested in her home care. It was his idea to have a bucklist for her which was very sweet and made me cry at the same time. He was upset when she passed way but I learned a lot from him - he only remembered the good stuff, realized it was for the best and that she would always be a wonderful memory in his life. 2 months later he was ready for a new dog.

My father's death was a shock and unexpected. My son once again really lead me thru this as well. I didn't tell him things, but let him guide me in what he wanted to know. One night he and I stayed up all night because he was terrified that he could die suddenly in his sleep as well. Sharing these feelings and thoughts with him was surprisingly therapeutic - it allowed me to really think about what I feared the most.

My mom's stroke has been difficult in a different way. She is the last living member in my small family. She was my rock. Once again my son has been amazing. He spent time with her, reads to her, just listens when she is talking gibberish and I can see that he loves her.

From all of this I would say, be honest and open with your kids - but let them guide what they need, what they want to discuss. In terms of yourself - professional help is important, as is regular exercise and allowing yourself to feel the pain and grief. There are many excellent books about how to talk about death with kids as well. It doesn't get easier but you start to put things into perspective - for me it was how much I love my son, and being present and there for him has given me a lot structure and positive thoughts. [/quote]

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