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[quote=Anonymous]5 year gap. Two DDs.  It is what it is, so I try not to get caught up in thinking about the negative.  I try to focus on anticipating what might help.  It wasn't what I envisioned, but life intervened.  It has benefits.    I think the gap helps with rivalry issues.  DD#1 was better able to understand why a baby demanded attention than a 2 or 3 y.o.  The book "Sibilings without Rivalry" was really helpful for that as well.  My DD's are at a PK-8 school and I think that helps, as well --- since they continue to have shared experiences for much longer.  I also tried to cultivate some shared experiences.  Both girls like theater and they have fun with that.  They do different sports. And we limit the amount of activities to something that is reasonable for us parents and we stress family time --- shared dinner time, family game night, etc.  DD#2 got the short end of stick a little here (DD#1 got to do way more activities), but she'll have us all alone for 5 years in high school.  DD#1's friends that played well with DD#2 were invited back more often.  I gave 0% tolerance to any of the "let's tease the annoying little sister" stuff from friends of DD#1 or DD herself.   Also, tried to really milk the amount of time that DD#1 got to be a child and focus on child things. (Personality may have factored in here to our benefit.) Things are getting harder since DD#1 is hitting puberty, as she is less interested in "playing" and DD#2 is sad about that. Same thing has happened to other friends' kids who have a 3 year split though. DD#1 does think we are too easy on DD#2 --- which is probably true. We've mellowed in the 5 intervening years.  DD#1 gets that --- not in the middle of the complaining, but mostly she gets it.  Girls have called each other their best friend.  I want to cultivate a good basis for adult friendships when they'll need the bond to deal with me as a cranky old lady.  [/quote]

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