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[quote=Anonymous]My fiance and I are getting married later this year after 5 years of dating. I want my future MIL to like me as I am very family-oriented and would love to have a close relationship with my in-laws. I 100% understand that no one will ever care as much about your wedding as you do, but my fiance is her oldest child and only son. I thought she would appreciate the painstaking effort we are making to include her in the wedding given the stereotype around MIL/DIL relationships and how DILs tend to shut MILs out of the wedding planning process.

Here are some of the things that have happened over the course of the engagement:

1) Asked fiance if he wanted to go to dinner to celebrate shortly after the engagement. When we arrived she commented that she was only expecting my fiance, not the two of us together.
2) Made a comment in front of me along the lines of "Thank God I'm only on the hook for the rehearsal dinner."
3) Made no effort to reach out to my parents
4) Completely uninterested in the wedding planning process or anything having to do with the wedding. When we went to the venue and told them we wanted a fall wedding, his mom asked the wedding coordinator if we could "bump up the date if another bride cancelled." Wedding coordinator had to explain that it doesn't work like that, and weddings are not typically cancelled.
5) We try to include her in the process by sending her different vendors we are considering/have chosen and her responses are beyond bizarre. For example, we sent her a link to our videographer (that is award-winning and a total splurge for us) and she asked "What made you choose them?" We sent her a link to our photographer's website and her only remark was that the photographer "had bangs." I sent her a copy of the digital proof of our invitation (which she asked to see) to which she replied that she was surprised my fiance's middle name was on the invitation. When I showed her a picture of me in my dress she replied "oh, nice."
6) Asked if she should bring her own beer to my bridal shower (WTF? It was hosted by family, catered, and had alcohol)
7) Had her friend approach me at my bridal shower and ask if she could get ready with us in the bridal suite. I was totally caught off guard since the request wasn't coming from my MIL herself, the bridal suite is catered and will cost additional $ per person, and MIL's friend would just ... sit there? while the rest of us get our hair and makeup done.

Also, a non-wedding-related offense that's worth noting - I threw my fiance a surprise 30th birthday party earlier this year. I rented out a room at a local bar and had dinner and drinks. It was a splurge for me, but it was a milestone birthday for him and I knew he had always wanted a surprise party. His mom RSVP'd no (through my future sister-in-law, not even to me directly) because she "day drinks" and "would be done drinking by 7PM."

Am I right to be upset or at least annoyed by these interactions? Does anyone have any advice? My fiance has tried to reach out to her to explain that her distance and lack of interest in our lives is hurtful and we love her and just want to see her more to which she replied that he needs to "remember who he's talking to."[/quote]

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