Reply to DH "banning" me from visiting my family with kids

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[quote=Anonymous]I had plans to see my family in California this month, like I have for every summer in the past 10 years.  He is an attorney and wrote me an email, saying that I don't have permission to do it and that he's going to file for divorce and if I go to California on my vacation, I'll lose custody of the children.

I spoke to a lawyer who said that I can still do it since he hasn't filed or done anything yet, but I'm scared.  Is my lawyer right?

Of course, to make it more complicated, my downtown apartment lease is up for renewal and I can't afford it anymore now that he has taken a job in Dallas and refuses to pay for it unless I agree to move to Dallas by next summer.  So I almost need to temporarily move in with my family in California.  But, again, he's not even allowing me to go to California.

How do stay at home mom with 2 very young children who have followed their husband to law school, clerkships, position after position, manage?  When he made partner but only at a small firm back in his hometown in Texas and I didn't want to leave DC (or wanted to go to California), he basically had arranged it so I can't visit California and am forced to move to Texas.

I've been paying an attorney $400 per hour out of some money that I had before we got married but I can't keep doing it since I'll run out of money and I don't want him to know that I also have a lawyer yet since he says he plans to file for divorce oncei give him the name of my lawyer since he doesn't want to serve me in front of the kids.  I just need to know:

(1) can I move out of this apartment of $4k/month that I cannot afford and that my husband refuses to pay for (since I am not moving to Texas) and move in temporarily with my family in California with the kids (free)?

(2) can I at least visit my family in California with the kids?

(3) do I need to renew the lease for $4k/month that I cannot afford when my husband has moved out and moved to Texas?[/quote]

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