Reply to Advice please....long distance relationship in 50's..ugh......female perspective sought

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a guy . . . 50-something, divorced for some time, part custody two kids.  I've had a relationship or two along the way post divorce.  I'm not looking to date the world; I actually am seeking a relationship.

A few weeks ago,  I began seeing someone I have known since college, but haven't seen in ages (like 30 something years).  We live a three-hour drive apart.  I know, a long distance relationship at this stage of life. . . but it is what it is.

Because we click really well, and share values and likes, and because we have some measure of shared history (OK, long ago but still), things have progressed fairly quickly. I really think she is great.

Both our schedules are generally flexible--most of the time.  As a result, we've spent time together the last three weeks.  I went up to her place for a few days, then she came to visit me in DC, then I went back up to see her.  All the time we have spent together has been fantastic.  Great.

We planned that I would visit her this Monday, Tuesday and return to DC Wednesday.

However, last Friday she told me that she had previously made plans to see a friend (girl) from out of town on Tuesday--they had planned to hang all day together.  She had forgotten the plans until the friend texted her.  Admittedly, the woman I'm involved with is a bit of a free spirit sort, she tends to lose her keys, and such.  So forgetting plans from a month or two ago, not out of character.

I told her that isn't a big deal, we could work around it.  I had no issue with me going up and her still seeing her friend.

However, she said she didn't want to do that as she would be worried about me just hanging around and she would feel bad that she wasn't with me.  She wouldn't enjoy seeing her friend.  SO she broke our plans in favor of the friend.

Normally, this would be no big deal. I am supportive of people having their own lives, friends, etc.  However, her schedule this month is complicated.  And, this s a long distance relationship.  Now that we aren't seeing each other Monday-Wednesday of this week, we won't see each other for at least three weeks, maybe five.

She sees this as no big deal.  To me, this feels . . . lousy.

I would greatly appreciate a female perspective or two.

Thanks much.[/quote]

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