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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you give some examples of situations where the teen is refusing to do something? It’s hard to give advice without some more context. Give the two most recent. [/quote]

Thank you.  Yes, I fully realize that we should be in charge of our teens.  Two we are, but one is petulant and fights us on everything.  He is strong, and frankly, I am afraid of him, but I do not want him to know that. DH has some issues that have not been addressed, and honestly I think DH projects and pussy foots around issues to make petulant teen happy.  To call it a slippery slope is an understatement. Dh has a lot of trauma, and anything DH did not enjoy (two examples are vacationing with family - DH was abused; and dinnertime - DH was "piled on" by his siblings, as they could not leave the table until DH was finished eating) - DH does not force DS to do.  Which is not parenting at all, and I try to tell DH that. I am at a loss because the rest of the family is in turmoil because of it. Where to start? 
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