Reply to s/o Why so much delusion by parents of adult kids around "big happy family get togethers"

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Reply to "s/o Why so much delusion by parents of adult kids around "big happy family get togethers""

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with you that the big happy family get together often doesn't work, for many reasons.  But, I can't blame parents for wanting both their kids / all their grandkids in one place at one time.  It's very natural, and it's okay to be sad when it doesn't work.

My DH and his brother don't get along that great -- not fighting, but just very different people who enjoy spending time in different ways and have little to talk about.  We've tried doing the beach house thing with them and it's just no fun for anyone.  One of their kids has severe allergies which also makes it difficult to do meals together, and we can't have them over to our place because the child is allergic to our dog.  It's nobody's fault but it just isn't easy or fun to meet everyone's logistical needs.  I completely sympathize with my inlaws being sad about how little we all see each other.

My mother has 5 sisters, all of whom have children and grandchildren scattered around the U.S.  Most get along great or can fake it for a day.  The sisters (my mom and aunts) place a high value on getting everyone under one roof for Christmas in the expensive suburban town where the aunts grew up, which is logistically difficult and and there's little to do there besides the family event.  Spending all our vacation dollars and leave on a trip to see my family at Christmas is not sustainable and not fair to my spouse's family who moved to be near us.  But, it's still joyful when everyone gets together, and sadder when they don't.[/quote]

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