Reply to Still not over an emotional affair from over six years ago

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry OP.
I'm a cheater who has gone through IVF and all that goes with it. It is a stressful time. Not to excuse your wife, but if her coping skills aren't good, I can see how this would happen. Easily. She's being stuffed with hormones and drugs, she feels like a failure, everybody around her is pregnant, she's hurt and angry and crying and irrational. She doesn't want to admit all these feelings to you (because you are the one she cares most about) and there's this other person who listens to her (with unconditional lust in his eyes ... when for you and her sex is now a baby-making chore).

That's a lot to deal with. For her. She didn't deal with it well at all. And maybe she needs to go to therapy, too, but since you wrote in, you should find a new therapist.

And you know what? If you can't get over it, you can't get over it. Tell your wife what you REALLY need from her. Figure that out. If it turns out you can't get past her EA, you can't get past it. And you should separate.

But try to work it out because you have a beautiful, amazing child and it is worth learning to forgive and love yourself again to have an intact family.

(but if you can't ... that's ok)[/quote]

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