Reply to Reproductive coercion and partner violence: implications for clinical assessment of unintended pregn

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[quote=Anonymous]What is reproductive coercion:

"reproductive coercion, defined as male partners’ attempts to promote pregnancy in their female partners through verbal pressure and threats to become pregnant (pregnancy coercion), direct interference with contraception (birth-control sabotage), and threats and coercion related to pregnancy continuation or termination (control of pregnancy outcomes). "

How do men do it:

1. Holes in condoms
2. Throwing, hiding, or tampering with your pills
3. Taking off condom mid way sex
3. Ripping off patches
4. Some can pull the string on iuds (didn't realize this until today.)
5. General verbal and emotional pressure
6. Condom refusal. He will say if you are on birth control, you don't have to use condoms. Sometimes they just want raw sex for pleasure. But sometimes he is trying to impregnant you. He will say he is clean and that condoms mean you don't trust them. Or that you are cheating.

Why men try to trap women with a pregnancy

1. to prolong a relationship
2. To force a marriage
3. Sabotage her career and financial goals and trajectory
4. He thinks having a baby mamma or baby mammas makes him seem masculine and hypersexual
5. He wants to sabotage the womans dating options--- all things equal a childfree women or man is more attractive on the dating market
6. Control you. If he gets custody he will be in your life forever, and now he can abuse you for a minimum of 18 years.
7. He gets free(or reduced) housing and food-- this is more common with the black community. A lot of men know a childfree woman will have less guilt kicking out a boyfriend. But not many woman want the father of her child to be homeless. Some hobosexuals/bums can collect mutliple baby mammas and secure housing
8. He thinks you will be more desperate and available for sex. He thinks you will permanently be in his sex roster.

How to avoid being a target:

1. Hide your birth control -- even if you trust him
2. Look into going for IUDs and implants over pills
3. Always wear a condom even if you are on birth control. Matter of fact don't tell him you are on the pill/implanted. Just tell him you are allergic. This is not being dishonest as no person is entitled to know what medication you are on. That is between you and your doctor.
4. Avoid men who seem jealous or resentful of your career and life prospects. These men want to knock you down a peg or 5
5. Watch out for men that "joke" about how you will create beautiful kids together before even discussing marriage.
6. Use more than one form of birth control.
7. Remind him that removing a condom("stealthing") is rape and that you are not afraid of reporting him or any man who does it.
8. Drop men or check men that discuss having children before marriage. This is not acceptable. And some of these men actually are planning to run away the minute you get pregnant. It is a funny game to these men. They want you to be left with the "ball" and go into poverty and strife. Tell these men that having a baby is a bigger commitment than marriage. It is easier to sue for child support from an ex husband than a boyfriend. Not to mention you at least can go for alimony if not for child support.[/quote]

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