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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a first time parent of a baby born very prematurely (26 weeks, to be exact).

I live about 40 minutes from most of my family and my mom was the only person who visited me while I was in the hospital for 15 days and while my baby was in the NICU for 3+ months.

And she wasn’t exactly the most empathetic and supportive person throughout my pregnancy and delivery. Examples: 1) she was upset that my friends came to visit me the hospital and 2) when she asked how she could help me while I was on bedrest, I told her I’d appreciate her helping me to do my laundry and straighten my house...her response was that she’s not my maid! 3) she called once I was discharged from the hospital and said she really wants to see her grandbaby but knew that I’d have to go with her and said never mind 4) she believes that I “bragged” about all of the support coming from my husband’s family when in fact, I was just trying to focus on good things happening in the midst of so much trauma 5) my father basically told me that he wants nothing to do with my family because I’ve hurt my mother.

It’s been a pretty traumatic and exhausting journey to parenthood and I am struggling to come to terms with the lack of family support. Even more heartbreaking is thinking about my daughter not having a relationship with my family.

When I try to create peace, my mother says that I need to apologize to my family for being so rigid about people needing to be vaccinated and not smoke around my baby (doctors orders). My father told me that she’s embarrassed when people ask about us because she can’t say that she sees us very often. He also encouraged me to post “something nice” on social media to make her feel better. She’s basically making herself out to be a victim.

This feels so crazy to me. I just want peace in my life and I would love to feel like my family is supportive of me, as I have been there for them.

Any thoughts on how to make things better?[/quote]

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