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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Question about parents with 'sporty' kids."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids are not "sporty" and I don't force it on them, but I absolutely know kids who choose to spend all their free time on sports at a very young kid. Some kids really love it and crave it. Just because your kid (and mine) doesn't want to give all his time to sports doesn't mean there aren't lots of kids who do. And the parents I know who support their kids in this are not, for the most part, dreaming of the Olympics or the MLB or whatever. (I'm sure there are parents who are like that, but I don't know them.) They just want their kids to get really good at something they care about.[/quote] I agree with this. My kids range from a "participation athlete" (i.e. rec. for fun) to a fairly good player, to one with considerable talent. I have seen that the burden associated with talent and playing at a higher level have taken a toll on my child, to the point where he wants to quit before he realized the goals he had at the start. Still, I'm more about "life lessons through sports" than I am about any future aspirations. What is most difficult, even for reasonable parents who aren't planning on pro careers or college scholarships, is finding the right level of a sport where your kids can be happy and engaged. Too often, you have to choose between giving up everything in your life but the sport or playing rec or even worse, playing on a rec. level "travel" team. It is hard to find the middle ground. As the PP said, there are kids for whom their sport is their entire life and their desire drives family decisions. I have a confession which really answers the OP's question. You know the kid I said was talented at his sport but hates the pressure and time commitment? I force him to continue playing because otherwise, it would be video games 24/7. Some days he loves it; others are a chore. He has been given the opportunity to choose any other activity in place of his current sport, as long as he is interested in it and will commit to it, at least temporarily. He claims to "hate" everything, so he is being held to the commitment he made to his team. I am not completely sure all of this is worth it, but as parents, we would rather watch him developing his talent and learning to win. lose and overcome obstacles through sports rather that policing how he spends excessive free time and fighting about video games. He is learning to manage his time and honor commitments. I also think that much of this is about preserving opportunities for kids. For sports like gymnastics, skating, swimming, or even soccer, you can't take them up at an older age and hope to play at a high level. You have to start young. Most of us crazy sports parents had sports crazed kids who, at a young age, exhibited a fierce love for a sport. Over the years, the time, injuries, politics, travel, money, and other negatives take their toll. That's when we doubt whether it is worth it and our kids waver in their commitment. Still, I'm not sure what I would change. My kids have great friends they made through sports and they have learned many lessons. One of my kids quit a sport that is extremely time-consuming beginning at a young age, and all of us learned a great deal both from participating in the sport and the process of leaving the sport. I can tell you that I'm a better parent because of that experience, as it gave me a chance to support my child in making a difficult decision without making it for her. And over the years, we as a family have made friends, traveled, and spent time together. Any given bad day I might say it isn't worth it, but there have been many positives.[/quote]
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