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[quote=Anonymous]I’m extremely lucky in that my parents are alive and fairly well - DH has lost both parents, and mine have their faculties and live independently.  However - the less of a filter thing and the not taking care of your physical health in your 30s-60s thing has come home to roost, especially for my long-retired mom (Dad still works).   Mom is well-educated and fairly -off but literally only watches MSNBC except when she’s going on her many doctors appointments.  No reading, exercise, travel, won’t go to a museum in DC, no lectures, no classes, no big social circle.   She lives for her grandchild, my child, but we live hours away.

She’s always anxious and teary at nothing and won’t seek treatment.   I told her recently when she was on me to take DC to a ped over nothing that her anxiety was making me not want to talk about what’s up and she resented it, and swore at me and called me a “shithead” when I took DC in later, on a separate occasion, when we actually had to go.   It hurt me and also made me very, very angry.

I feel powerless over how irritating etc they but especially mom are - and I want to be mindful of how lucky I am to have her but her making me feel like a bad mom and literally swearing and name calling me flipped a switch and I’ve been mad as hell, coldly, since.   I’m asking how to stay grateful and not let her get to me, and how I can try to live in ways to avoid becoming her.  Any advice?   Thanks.[/quote]

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