Reply to Do women really always know when their DH is cheating or in love with someone else?

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[quote=Anonymous]I've been thinking about this lately for two reasons...

I ask first because my DH has always had female friends. He meets them for coffee, texts them, will even help them find jobs. I've realized over the years that I could be driving myself crazy over every woman he's friends with or just friendly with, but I don't. I came to terms with it years ago. And I don't think he's cheated or had affairs with any of them. I'm about 90% sure. That other 10%... who really knows. Maybe I just don't have good spidey sense. Or maybe I just don't feel like blowing up my life and my kids' lives over my husband having something as simple as a crush or an emotional affair. He's certainly not one who acts in that sort of overcompensating way that some would say cheaters act, i.e. tons of "I love you's" and texts with a million heart emojis and raving about your spouse and fantastic marriage to anyone who will listen.

The second reason I've been wondering about this is that DH and I have been friends with a couple for more than a year. The husband is a colleague several years older than me. We found out early that we and our spouses have a lot in common. So we all started to get together for drinks after work and even took a few road trips to wineries, shows, things like that.  Well, last month, things took an unfortunate turn when his wife called me her husband's "girlfriend" at a party at their house. She had already had a drink or two and just blurted it out. No, he and I are not having an affair. Yes, we have some chemistry but I have no interest in blowing up my life and I think we all get along very well as friends. I value their friendship and want to be friends for a long time. I thought we were all a good friend match.

But that fact that she said this now throws a monkey wrench into our relationship. Maybe he is cheating on her-- with someone else-- but she thinks it's me? Maybe I just need to ask her point blank why she would say that. Which goes back to my original question-- are we women always right about these things or can we blow things out of proportion?

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