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[quote=Anonymous]Same experience.  Getting screwed over (and told he was by some coaches within the Club--one who is still a mentor 6 years later) was the best thing that happened to my son. He had such anger and motivation that it spurred him on to get better and better.  That chip he carried on his shoulder is a great motivator.  Now all these years later he is a top player and many of those kids from years ago have not progressed.

It's rare that you will meet a top or pro athlete that didn't face time type of adversity or setback and it is how they dealt with it that makes the difference.  Some kids give up completely and others use that grit and passion to improve their game.  Many of those players from long ago were eventually cut or fizzled out down the road---and when they found themselves not on a first team anymore they couldn't handle it and quit.

My son would sometimes complain about what happened early on and I always turned it into a positive for him.  We laugh about it now and I say they did the best thing ever for him. We would not have sought out so many different types of training experiences and he would not have had such varied training if he had gotten everything he wanted at age 9/10/11.  I also find that he is much tougher and resilient when dealing with different coaching styles now at 14.  He's more likely to weather the bad ones.   He also has a lot more empathy for teammates and new kids to the team then some of the prima donnas that are quick to gripe or attack their own teammates when things get tough in a game.

As a parent, I will say, it's best not to get involved with the coaching staff--at all.  Motivate your kid if they are down about the result and help them find other training opportunities.  Commiserating or trying to interfere with roster decisions doesn't teach your child anything.   The other thing I make clear to my sons is that different coaches value different types of players and styles.  I tell them often it is not personal, it's just the way a Coach sees something and they aren't being 'mean'.  You have to help your kids not feel like a victim.  Go to practices at other places.  We have been able to tell after one practice whether a coach or Club is a good fit.  Again, there aren't 'bad' places, just different places that may not be for him.  It took some growing on my part as a parent to stay impartial, but I have always been honest with my kids about their ability and I am the first to point out and recognize really good players on their team and other teams.

This year my kid wanted to play center mid as he has frequently and was upset he wasn't getting the chance.  I let him know that as long as another kid on the team was better in that position (and 2 of them were)--he wasn't going to get that opportunity.  Now 1.5 years later he was moved out of the back and starts as attacking center mid.  I told him at the time that if he was given any opportunity whether in practice or a game to play there---that he better give 120%.  Don't whine.  I always tell them that the amount of time they spend at a different position--even one they aren't crazy about---improves their game.  We know kids that have only ever played striker since U9 and their parents will insist they only play forward, that really is a disservice to the player.  Not having versatility will eventually catch up with them.

I have 2 different experiences with my kids---one always being recognized from a young age and one that has had to fight for it even though I think they have very similar ability.  The former can get lazy about training since everything went his way from the beginning and he was always praised by coaches.  He can stagnate in development from time to time because of it. The other one has such perseverance which I can see was born out of circumstance.[/quote]

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