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[quote=Anonymous]I was you. My mom and brother were like oil and water: they just didn't mix. My mom did almost all the complaining, while my brother was reticent and dealt with it by keeping his distance. When my mom became terminally ill, my brother flew across the country many times to help out and lend a hand when I was overwhelmed, but they never fully bridged their gap. I think my mom carried her grudge against him to her grave.

There was nothing that I could say or do that would make them self reflect and be more receptive of each other. I'd come to that conclusion and refused to engage with my mom when she raged about him. The only exception I made was during the last months of her life, when I'd just listen and occasionally gently point out how her perception of his seemingly uncaring behavior was wrong. I wanted her to feel heard, however skewed her perception was.

I know I'm not responsible for their relationship and I'm at peace with it. I'm sorry you're in this position. It's really corrosive. [/quote]

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