Reply to is it normal for college kid not to have friends?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think sometimes kids get busy enough they don’t have time to hang out and that can get in the way of developing real friendships (vs friendly acquaintanceships).

Two or three suggestions that may or may not be helpful/relevant:

Study in public — library, student center, common areas of dorm, computer lab, near where tutoring is offered, cafes.  My DC struck up friendships with classmates who tended to study at the same place at the same times (eg night before weekly p-set was due).  One would get stuck on a problem, ask another for help, and pretty soon they’d be studying (and/or taking breaks) together.  I was a humanities major so the ask for help/study together format was less relevant, but I did tend to study at the same place(s) in the library at the same time, so I was easy for people to find/run into.

Be willing to be vulnerable, ask for help, talk about your challenges with friendly acquaintances.  Often that’s what takes relationships to the next level (some combination of candor and trust).  Obviously, it’s not the stuff you lead with, but if your DD is the kind of kid others turn to for help but who never turns to others (mine’s like this), sometimes sharing/not always coming from a position of strength or security makes a real difference.

Initiate!  Enjoying your conversation after class?  Suggest continuing it over lunch or coffee.  Getting burnt out studying?  Propose a trip to the gym.  Planning on going downtown for a movie or to TJ’s for groceries? Invite class/dorm/EC-mates to come along.
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