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[quote=Anonymous]Understanding how you feel but I wonder if no friends over for the 6 yo and 5 yo hurts more than it helps. Worried about what people will say? (Mom, their house is so messy!) No place for them to play?

Are you able to at least get an antidepressant from your primary care doctor? Does your job have an EAP (employee assistance program)? That's usually good for a few (like 3) sessions of basic counseling. That might help you get a foothold on one piece of the overwhelming stuff.  Also find out where the public mental health provider is (something through your state's department of human services)--they will often do sliding scale, they can also assess for medication and can often provide that more cheaply (although generic SSRI's are very cheap). Or university programs in counseling may have clinics where the students do practicums or clinicals or whatever they call it. Several years ago I used one of those and it literally only cost me $5 a session.

The other thing is that although of course you're concerned about the kids (and a depressed mom does have an effect on children!) it's very easy to ruminate yourself into a deeper and deeper hole, sort of meta-depression.

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