Reply to Destination Bat Mitzvah

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the issue here is more family relationship than religious, but time will tell!

My family is Jewish. Personally, although I'm very invested in my synagogue and religious studies, I've never felt that much of a connection to Israel. I also find Orthodoxy problematic, and, in fact, the only time as an adult I have set foot in a gender segregated synagogue was for my niece's Bat Mitzvah.

So, the issue. My brother's family (same Orthodox one) has decided to have their younger daughter's Bat Mitzvah in Israel during the school year. Our entire family is local, so everyone attending would have to travel overseas.  Aside from just no connection to Israel, I also have a significant fear of flying (that, granted, I do deal with to travel to places I really want to go), and, like everyone limited vacation time and finite funds.

My nuclear family is me, my husband, and our tween daughter. My husband, an atheist to the point, tbh, of obnoxiousness sometimes, has said there is no way he is going. I truly want to go to my niece's Bat Mitzvah, but I'm rather dreading the plane ride, the travel, the expense, I really have no interest in extending it longer than the event itself. The only solution, which I'll do with only internal complaining, is to fly there for 48 hours, go to the ceremony and party, and return home. I don't think it is at all reasonable to take a tween on that short of a trip, and for his own reasons (missing school, expense, vacation time, lack of interest, generally feeling looked down upon by my religious relatives), my husband has put his foot down about taking her for longer or sending her on her own.

So, overall, it's rather dumb. I'm flying overseas for 48 hours. But, I'd prefer that to missing the event entirely. I'm really not trying to be a martyr. I can see how it could come across that way.

Problem - I am getting no end of complaints from my mother and brother. I'm being unreasonable. I'd love Israel. When there is a location I'm interested in, I'll fly and visit for a week or two. I'm denying my daughter a unique opportunity. What 4 or 5 days of middle school? To me, this seems so black and white, I'd never, in a million years, assume someone should love or revere something that is meaningful to me... just because.

I'm not sure there is a solution to this.. but I'd love to hear thoughts.[/quote]

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