Reply to Facing a career move and don't know how to juggle everything -- advice needed!

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[quote=Anonymous]I am of the mindset that only one, or preferably both parents, should have flexible jobs when parenting young children. But I also am taking the long view of my career, and I don’t believe the myth that we can have it all. The truth is you have to pick and choose. My perspective is that I will be working 30 or more years, but my children will be young exactly once. You don’t get a do over if you aren’t around or present. Sure, a house is great but if you and your spouse are spending your life commuting and not seeing your kids, does that extra square footage really matter? Personally we have chosen to stay in the city and rent for short commutes and time with our child. These years are extremely challenging and precious. Time is a finite resource.

Right now it’s more important to me that I prioritize my family over my career. I never want to be the parent sending my sick kid to daycare dosed up on Tylenol so I can work. I never want my kid to feel like I wasn’t there when they were growing up. I need flexibility for sick days, school holidays, doctors appointments, and the zillion other issues that arise with kids.

This is not a popular view inside the Beltway, where the ladders to climb are enticing and never ending. Where someone always has more than me—prestige, money, power. But at the end of the day only you can decide what matters to you. Often the default answer is “lean in” but it’s okay to have a different perspective. I like the Ann Marie Slaughter perspective—that you can lean in at different points in you career, and at other points when your caregiving responsibilities are larger (young kids, aging parents) you may need to hold steady. [/quote]

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