Reply to how to help mentally ill brother, his wife who is sick of it

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[quote=Anonymous]You have no idea what's really going on, other than that your brother obviously has some kind of mental issue (even if he was misdiagnosed) and the family is financially strapped and apparently refuses to do anything to mitigate it.  You should not get involved in their marital issues.  Maybe his wife did push him, maybe he's rewriting the past now to blame her.  (I can't blame her for insisting he take his meds--she's not a professional, and if he was diagnosed, then it's entirely reasonable to insist that he comply with treatment.  He should have addressed any problems with the meds with his doctor, not gone off of them on his own, which can cause problems.)

I don't think there is anything you can do to help.  He has a doctor, which is good.  You should encourage him to talk to that person.  And don't give them any money.  They need to make some hard choices, but if they had $50K of credit card debt a few years ago and are still living beyond their means, anything you give them will vanish into the black hole.  Suggest a financial planner--again, this is for the professionals to handle, not you from 3,000 miles away.  You can express love and sympathy, but you are not equipped to do anything else.

Also: Your brother's doctor should not be telling you details of his care or diagnosis, however.  You can reach out to him to provide information, but he shouldn't be sharing that with you.  [/quote]

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