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[quote=Anonymous]Few one liners:

I work to buy a car to go to work.

I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until Siri said, "In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out."

My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.

A dad is washing the car with his son. After a moment, the son asks his father, "Do you think we could use a sponge instead?"

My wife had her driver's test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear.

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, and accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.

Last Father's Day my son gave me something I always wanted: the keys to my car.

Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

I used to work at a fire hydrant factory couldn't park nowhere near the place.

What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

The Best way to get back on your feet is to miss a couple of car payments!
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