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[quote=Anonymous]I should be able to deal with this better, but my family is gone, our kids are grown and don't luve close, and so we are the holiday hosts to my inlaws which include my DH's brothers and their young adult kids, and his parents. The kids are fine when they come, but it is obligatory. The older contemporary adults are racist, homophobic, closed minded, and not afraid to share their thoughts. All day and / or night. SIL is a big believer in conspiracy theories- doctors are wrong,  liberals are wrong,  people are all brainwashed into being politically correct. This rhetoric goes on all night. She passes  around false information on FB from white supremacist sites and thinks it is all true. These folks all went to college, but they haven't expanded their knowledge base for decades and rarely socialize with anyone. Our holidays are a night out for them.

My DH is not like this,  and he agrees they are awful,  but he loves his family. His parents are quite elderly.  It's been decades for me, and I am tired of it. I pictured a whole different scene for now when I was older, and that didn't happen. Instead, on the happiest days, I feel like I'm floating in sadness.  My friends are all with their families, so I can't invite them, and my DH doesn't want to leave his parents alone. I get that.

I really try to not stir the pot, but I don't feel like I have any self respect if I just let them wax on with their dangerous idealogy right in front of me. I just say things like " i don't agree. Have you read...." or " This is what I learned when I went.....or read...or experienced...." I am then ridiculed or I just take away the dishes while they continue with their stuff at the table. They drag out their biggest stuff when my husband goes into the kitchen or bathroom, interestingly enough.

This after cooking for two days and cleaning. 
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