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[quote=Anonymous]I divorced when DS2 was 19 months and DD1 was 5 years old.  In truth, I knew the marriage was over for sure when I was 6 months pregnant w/ #2, but for a variety of reasons (all of which were wrong), I thought I should stay until the baby was older.

In retrospect, I should have just left (or told my DH to leave) when I was 6 months pregnant.  I had an absolutely toxic, stressful pregnancy and toddlerhood with DS 2.  It would have been easier to be on my own, and I could have begun to re-build our lives two years earlier.

It also was much harder for DS1 to lose her dad when she was 5.  It would have been easier at age 3.  DS2 doesn't have any memories of his dad living in the house, and our separation has really been a lot easier for him because it is all he knows.

If you are sure about the divorce, I don't see any reason to wait.  (If there's abuse, infidelity, alcoholism, or other things that are absolute marriage breakers.)  On the other hand, if you are just both exhausted, can't agree how to parent, or you don't feel things are equal, you might want to work on it.  In my case, there was no way to continue the marriage, and every extra second I spent in it was damaging to us all. [/quote]

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