Reply to Wife is unhappy/depressed....but doesn’t seem to want to do anything about it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My wife has been unhappy on and off for a number of years now. Her unhappiness relates to the following issues: 1) not liking her job, as she just switched jobs from a job she hated, and the new job hasn’t been what she expected 2) our relationship, as she feels that I don’t put in enough effort and communicate correctly (which I fully admit that is true and have been working on it) 3) her relationship with her parents/sister, as she feels that they give her sister more attention than her. (I personally feel that they treat my wife and her sister the same but she disagrees) 4) her relationship with my family, as she feels that they are disrespectful to her and I don’t stand up for her enough and 5) her relationship with her friends, as her friends (who are all married ) are still stuck in the “let’s get blackout drunk on a Tuesday” phase of their lives, and we’ve kind of moved past that.

Now, these are all legitimate issues, but where I’m struggling is that she doesn’t want to do anything on her end to change these issues, but she will complain about them. For example, in regards to her job issues, ive given her multiple ideas/suggestions on how to handle it (ex. Can you talk to your boss about how you’re unhappy? Are there other jobs in your field that you’d be interested in) but she shuts them all down. Regarding the issues with her friends, I’ve suggested trying to do stuff with them not surrounding drinking, or trying to join a meetup group, but she’s never into that.

My wife has seen therapists for her depression in the past, but with mixed results, as she never really found a therapist she clicked with. This morning, I suggested going to therapy again, and she said “no, none of the therapists really get me.” For whatever reason, this really stuck with me. I’m just frustrated that she has these. Issues, but doesn’t want to seem to do anything about them. I’m not really sure what I can do. I’m a firm believer that you can’t make someone do something, they have to want to do it themselves, which is why I’m frustrated that she’s not trying to better her mental health. [b]I’m also concerned because we’ve talked about TTC sometime in the next 6 months,[/b] but I really want her mental heath to be more stable before we cross that bridge.

[/quote]
DO NOT PROCREATE RIGHT NOW 
I'm not saying this to be a jerk but as someone who has BTDT[/quote]

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