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[quote=Anonymous]My FIL has a very complex past medical history. The short story is that 6 months ago, he had a cancerous kidney removed, was in a hospital setting for 6 weeks in a state of delirium, finally awoke from it once he returned home, and was better - health-wise - than he'd been in the past 5 years, partly bc he'd lost a significant amount of weight during the hospital stay. FIL is again in the hospital, fluid in lungs, on dialysis, not responding to commands, completely out of it mentally, and assumed (by my spouse and his sibiling) to be in another state of delirium.

Hospital says ok but he needs a feeding tube, and they said OK, that's fine! Hospital says there's nothing more to be done and recommends hospice. Husband and sister say no way - he's in this state of delirum - return him home and he'll wake up and all will be OK!

OK = dementia (managed at this point by drugs) and many other long-term and permanent conditions. MIL is broke after all of the health needs and also reaching a state of desperation and depression due to the immense needs of my FIL.

What is my role here? Supportive of whatever DH believes is best? Gently suggesting it's time to say goodbye? I'm struggling because I think it might be time to let him go, but it's not my father.

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