Reply to Is there an age where the whole wedding thing needs to chill?

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[quote=Anonymous]Please help me sort out if I need to get over myself or if perhaps I have a leg to stand on.

My cousin is getting married and I am in the wedding. She's 35, will be 36 at the wedding. First marriage for both.

I am in the wedding so just got the run down of what's expected and the festivities leading up to the wedding.

I'm one of eight bridesmaids and there will be three day destination bachelorette party, along with a shower.

This has been pretty standard in my circle for weddings, so for this will I will do what I did for the millions of other weddings--choose what I can go to, skip what I can not, and show up thrilled to be there.

But by our mid 30s, the last time I did all of this was a few years ago. If I am being brutally honest it just feels like she missed the boat on destination parties where we go to gay clubs and wear penis sashes. We are in our mid 30s, everyone is in the middle of dealing with small kids, it just feels so performative and tiresome.

Do you think it's fair to feel that you can "age out" of this whole thing, or is it fair to say that if you are getting married, and you want the whole shebang, then it makes sense. I would assume her stance is that she did it for everyone she knows, now it's our time to do it for her.  Which I think definitely speaks to fairness. But then omg there we all are together as a bunch of 35-40 year old women at the club and it feels so cringy. 
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