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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm looking for some advice here. DH and I come to a joint decision, but then he can't relay that information to his parents. I think he thinks his parents might be upset and he hates doing things they don't like. He also has trouble relaying good information like our trip logistics or holiday plans. For a while I did this all for him, but then being the bad guy in my inlaw's eyes got old quick. I refuse to relay information now. I try to understand why he can't talk to his parents and I can't figure it out. His parents are nice and are normal people. They're not demanding or bossy. They understand when we can't make events.

In his day to day life DH is a senior manager who has no trouble discussing things.

Here is the exact situation: We were invited to a 2nd cousin's destination wedding. I have 2 kids under 2. DH and I both agree that it's too much. We don't want to ask my parents to watch the kids (we'd have to fly my parents in) and my inlaws really want my kids to attend wedding (which is problematic since they go to sleep at 7pm). It's also expensive and we aren't close to this cousin. Instead of telling his parents that we just couldn't make it, he tells his parents he isn't sure. He asks a few questions about the kids at the wedding and then MIL goes to the bride and makes sure kids are invited. Then his parents call him back a week later and he says he'll have to check his work schedule, he isn't sure.

My inlaws have even asked me why dh can't talk to them. Is there some solution here or something I can do? I feel like I have a lifetime ahead of me of this. [/quote]

They need to talk to him directly and ask that question. Having you as in-between, is exactly what  everyone should avoid.[/quote]

It sounds like whenever he talks to his parents he says “I’m not sure” whenever the answer is no. [/quote]

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