Reply to Tips for dating divorced dads? How to interact with their kids or their mom if you meet them?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP do you want to get married and become a stepmother? You should decide this in the abstract before you fall in love with someone and have the decision made for you.

That said, it depends a lot on how old the kids are and the circumstances of the divorce. I personally would expect to never interact with the mother except in passing. I am a stepmother and I literally never talk to my husbands ex. I see her at events for my stepdaughter and we are cordial and polite but that’s it. [/quote]

Op here. Thanks. That's interesting about the ex.

I would probably prefer not to be a stepmother. But I've yet to met a man over forty who doesn't have kids who I actually like. And there aren't many of them anyway. Whereas for some reason divorced dads in their mid to late forties seem super eager to date me and there a ton of them, it feels like. And they are cuter and funnier and better conversationalists and better in bed than the weird, socially awkward never married guys I meet occasionally.

Previously I only dated guys who had kids in high school. That didn't seem like a big deal. They'd be at college soon and I like the idea of having older kids who are grown ups or nearly gown ups around sometimes. Possible future step grandkids could be nice if the kids were ok with me acting in that role. This guy has kids in junior high school and that scares me a little. I don't think I'd want to live in a fully integrated household with two kids. I think I'd rather keep my own place, and we can be at my own place when he doesn't have custody. Then he can be with them when he has custody (three nights a week, sometimes four). Maybe if it got super serious I could stay there or visit some of the nights he had custody. But it's this total - guys house. It's not in great shape and is badly in need of better cleaning and new furniture and I don't like the idea of me barging in and rearranging their house and way of doing things, but I also don't think I could ever live in that house, especially the way it is now and how they treat it. He lived there with his ex and that feels weird plus I just don't like the house or how they keep it. I'm not a neat freak, either. It's just - needs work and more regular cleaning. [/quote]

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