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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've tried with my mother-in-law.  I've bought her gifts, sent cards, tried to follow her rules, but it seems like nothing is good enough.  I still reach out occasionally to say happy birthday or happy new year via email but she ignores me.

She only wants her son to visit, not me or our kids.  She even wanted only her son over mother's day. We follow all of these demands, in hope that she still thaw. But it's been years.  DH has now given up on her and doesn't want to try any longer.  I am heartbroken that there appears to be back no hope.  I am lost as to what I've done, or our kids have done, for this hatred.  I've been seeing a counselor to try to feel better about it and see it as her loss.  The counselor had explained that I have a desire for acceptance and need to just accept myself but it's not getting through to my brain.  If you have any ideas on how to let something go, please tell me.

Luckily the kids don't feel the loss that I feel since they have a fantastic relationship with my parents and I don't think they understand that there is a missing set of grandparents in the picture yet.  Unfortunately FIL seems to be too weak to say/do anything.

I guess at this point, I need to give up, but I still find myself sad sometimes.  I've never been so disliked before.

For those who will ask why she dislikes me, here are the reasons that she had provided:

1.  I don't love her son.
2.  Her son doesn't love me.
3.  I married her son for his money.
4.  I married her son for her money.
5.  I got pregnant to trap him.
6.  I got pregnant again to trap him and/or get more money after she told him not to have another baby with me so that the divorce would be easier.
7.  I got pregnant again to trap him, and the 3rd child is overpopulating the world, so I should have known better and stopped at 2 and refused to have sex with him until he got a vasectomy as she did with FIL. 
8.  I'm the reason he doesn't visit more often.
9.  Im the reason he stopped visiting.
10.  I'm brainwashing him to stay with me.
11.  I'm brainwashing him against her.
12.  My own family doesn't love me.
13.  I have no friends.
14.  My family and friends are "trash".
15.  I caused and continue to cause problems with "the family".

Sometimes I wonder if she's right about me until I snap out of it.  I don't understand why someone would be so cruel to another human being.[/quote]

OP, she is not right.

Look, she's made this choice - you can't control her behavior, only your own.  It's time for your husband, her son, to stand up to her a little.  No more Mother's Day with her - he needs to tell her point-blank that he's come alone because he hoped that someday she'd have a relationship with HIS family, but now that it's clear that's not the case, he's spending the day with his family, etc.

If he wants to still have a relationship with her, then he can go on hos own every so often.

You've got to absolve yourself from any responsibility or guilty over this.[/quote]

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