Reply to Teens raised in progressive religious home choosing not to be confirmed

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[quote=Anonymous]I think if you build up this confirmation as such a big life decision that they get to make on their own then you make it more likely they will choose no.  Is it not something they can do at any time when/if they decide they’re ready?  Or is it a “you do this for me/your family and then you get to decide how involved you actually want to be”?  We are Jewish, my parents told us you will do a Bar/Bat Mitzvah because that is learning the basic level of your heritage/religion and that you do for us.  After that it’s up to you if you continue or not.  If your religion sets up confirmation as a personal choice, then it will be hard for you to frame it as the foundation or culmination of what they do for you.  So then I would tell them if they don’t feel right about doing it now, they can do it at any time they do feel ready/right.  Teen years are meant to be years of questioning, and maybe in the future it will feel more right to be confirmed.  If your religion doesn’t make it a “now or never” decision (and my impression of Christianity is the later conversions/commitments are a thing), then why frame it that way yourself?  Why push them into a more definitive act now, at this age?  Just tell them it’s not all or nothing and they can wait until they feel ready, whenever that may be.[/quote]

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