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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have three adopted kids. Oldest handled all of the adoption issues really well. Youngest is too early to tell. Middle one has had major crises over the abandonment issues. He is currently in a residential treatment program that has a specialty in adoption trauma, attachment issues and abandonment. Having a therapist and a program with these specialties has been life changing.

I have to admit pause by your adoption narrative. It sounds great for a five year old but I can’t imagine e teens buying it. Do you really know that the decision was out of love?[/quote]

I was adopted, and that was the story they told me.  As an adult, I understand that it can be more complicated, but I still think that it was a decision made in love.  My birthmom didn't give me up because she hated me, she gave me up because she was an unmarried college student who didn't feel like she could take care of a kid and wanted me to have a better life.  And because she wanted to finish her degree and get a good job and get out of poverty, and caring for a baby could make that difficult-to-impossible.  It was both selfish and loving, and that's okay.  The critical thing for me was understanding that it wasn't really about me--she didn't know me.  It wasn't a rejection, it was trying to make the best of bad circumstances.  And I WAS a wanted child--I was wanted very much by my parents, who didn't have to have me, they chose to have me.

It's also important to remember that adolescents can be moody and angry and struggle with things, and it can have nothing to do with being adopted.  It's a stormy, turbulent time.  I think the thing to emphasize is that you love him and that his feelings are normal,  Listen to him, accept where he's at now, and don't take it personally.  [/quote]

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