Reply to Foster-to-adopt or adopt an older child. Advice please.

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a long term foster parent, and I have adopted multiple times.  
From reading your post- it sounds like you want another child, but are not that interested in fostering.  Why do you want another child, and why do you want that child to come through adoption vs another way?  I think the answer to those questions is very relevant to the right path for you.
Whether or not you want to adopt- it is really hard when children leave your home- no matter what situation they are moving on to (reunification with biological parents, another relative, or another adoptive family.)  This is a child you have loved, you have parented, for which you care deeply.   You have to be able to put the needs of the child before your own needs.  (this is true if you adopt too- it just takes a different form.)
How have we 'dealt' with the ones who left?   We have grieved the loss and continued to pray for them.  We believe that we were in their lives for the time we were in their lives.

What needs will a child have?  This is such a hard question to answer.  One of our adoptions was a sibling set.  At the time of the adoption one sibling had 'bigger' needs.  Now the other one does and the 'needy' sibling is pretty much a typical kid.  For that sibling- intensive early intervention was hugely successful.  (for us that took the form of OT, speech therapy, some medical appointments, behavioral coaching.)   [/quote]

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