Reply to s/o - HOW to change clubs

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I didn’t want to pull the “will you change clubs” thread off topic, so i started a new thread to ask for help with figuring out the logistics of a change.

Every club has different try out dates and then wants a answer within 24-48 hours of an offer. How does this work for people changing clubs?  Do you just ask for more time to respond?

My kid is young (U11) and one of the best players on a not-great/not-top-level team. So it’s not like clubs are vying for her or dying to accommodate any special requests.  But, we just moved and she has friends in a couple of local clubs and would love to try to end up with some of them which would be impossible to figure out unless you were comparing offers. Which seems like you can’t do because of the timing.

Tips and advice for the clueless from  experienced parents please?[/quote]

I agree with the PP.  Ask if your DD can practice with her friends' teams. This is the BEST advice if your kid isn't one who is going to immediately stand out at tryouts, which is hard to do at clubs that have cattle call tryouts.  It also gives you a feel for coaches, teammates, etc.  Of course the team composition might not be the same next year, but it gives you some idea and lets the coach see your child.

I will say, I think that the tryout process is insane and you will find that clubs pressure you to make a decision, even though you don't know who else on the team, what league the team will play in, and sometimes, who the coach is. Clubs have no loyalty to existing players and will hold off on giving your kid an offer until their best picks give a final decision, but once you get the offer, they want an answer immediately. One year, when we were going through a family crisis, I had a coach berate me for asking for more time to decide on whether to commit to a C team (a C team!!!), even though soccer was not our primary focus at the time. I hate soccer tryout season! Be prepared for pressure. Our experience has been if you are new to a club, they will be nicer to you in terms of giving more time to make a decision, but if your kid is an existing player not worthy of the A team, they really don't care.

Looking back, if I could do all of this over again, I wish I could have found a team for my kids at a young age that would have/could have stayed together for years. Those teams tend to gel and develop the best, without a continuing revolving door of players and coaches. But of course, club and parent obsession with wins and fake "elite" status, US soccer's change in age groups, etc. have all combined to make that virtually impossible for anyone, even the sanest of parents. You can't be reasonable in an unreasonable world!

For anyone reading this who remembers their childhood teams fondly and judges parents who move their kids from club to club as crazies, keep in mind that none of the families with kids in the 12-16 age group (I think???) had a choice about attempting to keep our kids with one group or one coach. US Soccer took care of that for us when they changed the age groups.  And for girls in particular, who need to gel with their teammates, that has been difficult to overcome.

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