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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
My child is gifted and learning disabled. The chasm between his verbal/math skills and his working memory/processing speed is, according to his psychologists, so enormous that it's exceedingly rare.

It is a complete rabbit hole to think about what would happen if that chasm was smaller, or his disabilities less handicapping. All the missed opportunities. All the wonderful enriching options that seem to be within arms' reach, that his classmates achieve so painlessly, yet which he cannot reach. And above all, he wouldn't feel SO BAD about himself. He feels so out of sync with the world!

It makes me physically ill when I think about it, actually, so I'm getting off this thread.

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I have a similar kid and I think about it, too. In fantastical ways, like wouldn't it be great if I could trade some of the gifts to fix some of the deficits--bringing him closer to average. On bad days, or in bad periods, I do think about how hard his life has been, how much he has had to suffer already, and how tough the particulars of his issues are: if he weren't so bright, he wouldn't be so frustrated at his processing speed and motor challenges; if he weren't so perceptive, he wouldn't be so aware of his differences and his failures; if he weren't so sensitive, he wouldn't suffer so much. And so on.

I am grateful for his amazing gifts and admire him so much for his courage and persistence. I don't spend a lot of time wallowing in negative thoughts because it isn't productive but I do have them.

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