Reply to Is there a point when "spirited" can become a special need?

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[quote=Anonymous]My 10 year old is very "spirited" meaning tightly wound, extremely stubborn and strong willed, competitive, ambitious, and somewhat anxious. As a toddler and young child, he was constantly in motion. I felt like he was a large dog who needed to be tired out with physical activity. We've worked this out over the years by getting him involved in sports and now he plays tennis three times a week and does other seasonal sports.

We have two younger children and DS1 is MUCH more sensitive to his environment than they are (in that he's easily overstimulated and needs a certain amount of sleep). For most of his life, he was prone to throwing extreme tantrums where he would hit and kick and scream for up to an hour. We've tried everything of course and been in therapy for it and the only thing that has really helped is him aging out of it.

Anyway, he's been in and out of therapy. He was diagnosed with ADHD-I about two years ago but it seemed mild and his teachers say he doesn't need his accommodations anymore. Fwiw, he doesn't have a problem with hyperactivity or impulsivity and wasn't medicated.

Where am I going with all of this? I've just always felt that there was something off about him, something more going on than ADHD. He's just so "extra." His feelings are always so amplified compared to his siblings. If he hurts himself at home, he screams bloody murder (he doesn't do this at school). If he's excited, he's bouncing around in my face.

I wonder if this level of "spiritedness" is really more like a kissing cousin of ASD? He was evaluated by a developmental pediatrician at 3 because I suspected he had ASD and the doctor said he was neurotical. Plus he was later evaluated by a psychologist who gave him the ADHD diagnosis.

But he does not behave in a typical way in my experience. I've always privately thought of him as a kind of delicate hothouse flower who needs the *exact* right amount of sleep, physical activity, mental activity, etc. etc. in order to flourish. He's exhausting compared to my other children who are much more laid back and go with the flow.

Can anyone else relate to this type of behavior in a child? What do you think it is?[/quote]

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