Reply to Friends young child passed away unexpectedly. What to do?

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP,

It sounds like you are being really supportive to the family during this horrendous time. I have a couple suggestions that might help you:

- ask to schedule an appointment with a child psychologist or therapist who specializes in grief (someone who has knowledge and expertise in working with kids) and ask about best ways to explain grief to kids
- Check out some of the grief books. Honestly, I'd just order some for family since they're overwhelmed. Here's a few suggestions: "Where’s Jess? " discussed death of a sibling. "A Birthday Present for Daniel" and " The Invisible String" are also good choices. Also, APA has good books for kids related to grief and loss, here: https://www.apa.org/pubs/magination/browse?query=subject:Grief+and+Loss. 
- Something like picking up groceries for family to restock fridge staple items
- For older kiddo, I'd answer questions honestly and briefly. What is he asking that you're not sure how to answer? Hopefully the books and/or child therapist consult would help. 
- I'm not sure exactly when right time is, but maybe have older brother and your kids do some activities to honor their friend/sibling (i.e., plant a tree, make photo frames with things they loved about her, etc.). It helps kids to talk about their feelings and to remember the person vs. feeling like they have to avoid it.

I also think if the above aren't helpful based on questions he is asking, it's okay to just say you know that this is a very confusing time. It is for everyone and mommy and daddy can talk to him more about it.  Good luck and please also take care of yourself![/quote]

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