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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Honestly, this is immaturity. Any time someone is being passive-aggressive it's a sign of immaturity.

When DH and I first moved in together I didn't know how to argue. I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted from him. I didn't know how to say "You hurt my feelings, and even though I know it was unintentional I'm irrationally angry at you."

What helped was a few months of couples counseling.  The therapist helped me see that it's okay to be REALLY honest sometimes.  You can skip saying the mean things about someone else, but say the honest things about yourself.  "I feel insecure when you wink at the receptionists and hostesses. Would you please not do that in front of me?"

The therapy taught us how to communicate in productive ways.  It taught me how to process my anger, how to let go of anger, how when DH and I disagree I can think "While I disagree with DH, this is clearly MUCH more important to him than it is to me, so I'll give him this one." [/quote]

+1 to all this.

OP, the way you are behaving is very very likely to permanently damage your marriage. At the very least, your husband will have an ingrained distrust of every conversation you have with other men, no matter how mundane. You can realistically expect to be accused of cheating on him or at least flirting with other men to punish him, which is essentially what you are doing.

Being passive aggressive is immature. You need to get better at talking about your feelings. If, in the moment, you are too upset to talk about the issue, verbalize that. Say, "DH, I'm really upset about this and I need some space. I would like to sit down and talk about this later when I've calmed down." Then later, you need to sit down and talk about what happened and how it hurt you. You CAN help it, but it will be discomforting for you and that's probably why you've avoided it thus far. [/quote]

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