Reply to Do I have a husband problem or a money problem?

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[quote=Anonymous]It’s still unclear - I think you’re both a little bit right here. What are your savings? Your retirement fund? Do you have an emergency fund? Are you saving to buy a house? I think he may have fears about money and views a lot of things as throwing money away, but I have no idea about your ultimate financial situation to know what is justified. You read like someone for whom money burns a whole in your pocket and wants to spend, spend, spend. I didn’t see you exhibit any concern for your long term financial goals.

The food one is the easiest thing. You need a food budget. I think he just doesn’t like the things you do, so he doesnt want to eat them. So determine what is fair to spend per month for two people. If you can’t find meals you both enjoy, a third of the budget goes for staples, he gets a third to get main courses he will cook and eat, and you get a third to get your things.

You need a budget for home improvements, and then pick the things that make the most impact. You’re not going to fix this overnight.

The school thing is trickier. Since we don’t know the field, I can’t say whether your husband is right or wrong, but many advanced degrees are a trap that you never get out of. 200k is a LOT of debt, and if it’s in many fields it’s a total waste. You also would,not be contributing to the finances while you’re doing it. You all be in terrible financial footing when the children come. You’re 31 years old - just when do you think you’re going to have these children?

OP, collectively, you want to spend a lot of money and live like someone in this area who makes a lot more money than you do. So you don’t have to,live like a hermit, but you can’t have a full cart at Whole Foods, and go to school, and travel three times a year internationally, and get a whole house of new expensive furniture all at the same time. [/quote]

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