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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Friend was/is a single mom of 3. Her youngest DD is best friends with DS. She has a history of terrible partners, all alcoholics or reformed. Currently engaged to a reformed. I don't like him but I'm always very sanitized and cordial on the rare occasion that I see him. It's been a long time since DH and I spent an evening out with them. Occasionally, I'll get together with her. After 4 rainchecks, agreed to have dinner. All was well. Things got a bit tense because friend is dealing with newness of being the second partner of this man, who is divorced with 3 adult kids. She has 3 kids under 18. They're a blended family. Friend is lovely, steet smart, worked hard to support her kids and settles on this guy. She is somewhat insecure in relationships yet has a very good sixth sense, but overlooks red flags. Classic pattern. I don't give unsolicited advice unless she is distraught and asks. Don't really even want to be involved but I do care about her and kids.

We're not big drinkers. Pleasant dinner until politics, kid issues, previous marriages come up. DH and I keep it light. Her SO laments about an issue with friend's 18 year old and how difficult it is to live with as a partner/dad. He's pretty animated about a recent issue with 18 yo and says, I just wanted to put my hands around her neck...and demonstrates on me!

It triggered me. I lean in and tell him if he ever (again) puts his hands on me or friend or her kids, I would (fill in the blank). He looked away and I demanded he look at me and I repeated what I said. He gets up and leaves. DH was watching hockey from table on a big screen in restaurant. He follows the guy out and I guess they had words. DH is not confrontational and didn't see what he did. Friend is clearly nervous and I explain that I meant what I said. She knows that I don't like him. I don't think she likes him very much. I don't believe he is violent or has ever threatened her or kids. He is unreasonable, narcisstic, 12 step brainwashed ... and all that goes with it.

DH is flabbergasted. Uncharacteristic for me to behave this way. Although it takes a tremendous amount of BS for me to get like this, I instinctively and fearlessly defend myself. Hands around my neck warranted my reaction. Plus he's a douche.

I don't regret it. I don't care about this guy and it's actually a relief. Maybe she'll finally realize that she's a capable parent and does not need to put up with him. It was not a  gentle gesture when he put his hands around my neck. The pressure was real.  People are very transparent to me and sometimes they sense it and maybe feel vulnerable without control.  He looked terrified when I confronted him and I'm happy about it. [/quote]

Ok, so to summarize your post, you were having a social evening with another couple when the male says "I just wanted to strangle [this teenager] referring to teenage stepdaughter misconduct and he puts his hands on your neck.

You proceed to tell him you'll kill him.

And he's dangerous?

Jesus H. Christ.  You are a nightmare.[/quote]

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