Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Introvert spouse"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First of all, if you love meeting new people, etc. why is it so not enjoyable to be with other people just because your husband isn’t around? I don’t understand how him not participating isjeapordizing your friendships? Are you going to these things and being miserable because he’s not there and you’re worries about what other people think? If that’s the case, you need to go and enjoy yourself, and not apologize for being there alone. You can’t “convince him”, of anything, but you can let him know that his attending events on occasion is important to YOU as his partner. You then compromise and find an acceptable number of events that he can/will attend with you. You also then respect his need for time alone. Now, when you say he would prefer to stay home and study, is this something extra that he is doing on top of regular life? Doing an MBA or whatever on top of having a job, etc. is no joke, and maybe he really does feel the need to focus and study more often than you would prefer. You also need to be a grownup and understand that your friendships are yours, and your husbands extroversion and introversion have nothing to Do with you. In fact, it’s healthy to have friends of your own. [/quote] I agree with a lot of this. I am the introvert in my relationship, and I really struggle with understanding why my husband needs me at events in order to find them enjoyable. Particularly since he doesn’t usually even hang out with me very much when we are there. [b]I have come to realize that it makes him happy when he sees me talking or telling a story to a group of people, making people laugh, etc. That it gives him the same warm fuzzy feeling that I get when I see him read our children a story. [/b] That there is something about seeing someone you love doing something you love that is more powerful than just doing it on your own. Anyway, I agree that you can’t “make him,” but maybe you can share how important it is to you and what you are hoping to get out of him being there. In the end, I am sure that he loves you and wants to make you happy. He probably just doesn’t understand why this would make you happy. [/quote] There is something that really troubles me about this. Loving your partner for reading to your children is enjoying the expression /sight of the love and happiness in the life you have created together. Getting warm and fuzzy watching your talk to strangers, which is contrary to your personaliy, is basically saying he appreciates you most when you are exhibiting a personality trait that is not yours and he was able to strong arm you into it. [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics