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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I love my spouse but he is a very private person. I love meeting new people and when I make new friends they often ask if we want to get together with spouses or they invite us as a family to dinner, parties or gatherings. But DH really would rather stay home and study. I understand that but this attitude creates misunderstandings and potentially is jeopardizing my new friendships. Most of the time I end up going to social gatherings by myself but it is not very enjoyable. How could I convince him, at least once in a while, to try meeting new people? [/quote]

Do you have kids?

I'm an extrovert married to an introvert. Here is what we do. When we are first getting to know another couple, we both go. So if Sally and Sam's daughter Stella goes to school with our daughter and they invite us over for dinner, we both go. Then we reciprocate and host them at our place. He participates in those things, and I try to ensure that the engagements are 2 hours long but not much longer because I know his limits. After that, once the friendship is established, I set up outings with the couple at times when DH can't come for whatever (true or untrue) reasons. For example, he has a hobby that other people we are friends with know about, and I schedule time with DD's friends to get her out of the house on the weekend so that he can work on that. Sometimes he will join for a meal afterward, other times not.

I think a lot really depends on your spouse, whether you have kids or not, and what kind of social engagements you're setting up. Yes, it is weird if I hang out with someone and NEVER meet their partner at events where other people's partners are in attendance. If you do not have children, I think it is weird if one spouse goes out with couples and the other one stays home. The key is for both of you to have some flexibility in your expectations of the other. DH knows that if there is some kind of event that is TRULY important to me, I will tell him that it's really important to me that he attend and then he will make an effort. But I don't do that very often because honestly, he is not particularly pleasant when he is forced to be in social situations he doesn't want to be in, and when we get home later, he always wants space to decompress, which sometimes is MORE exhausting for me than if I'd gone with DD alone and come home to a DH who had a bunch of alone time and is ready to dive in.[/quote]

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