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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry OP.  I have in-laws that have been unwelcoming and cold.  I have also thought about how good it would be to have nice and friendly in-laws.

I wouldn't bother with your SIL and I would cut down the visits to the MIL/FIL to once a year, even less.  If they are openly racist I would stop visiting.

My MIL was a massive disruption to our marriage in the early years and that has gotten better with time not because of her but from us handling it better and keeping her on the outer.

It was a disruption that we could have lived without, she caused problems where she didn't need to and I probably won't forgive her for all her nastiness and the stress it caused.

So if I was you I would recognise that your in-laws won't change.  Give up on them. It's really not worth the time or emotional energy to try with people like this.

I also understand that it sucks, it's not fair and it's irritating beyond belief that they can't just be normal and kind like I see with all my friends MIL's.[/quote]

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