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[quote=Anonymous]My 26-year-old DD is engaged to a decent guy who unfortunately has racist, homophobic, generally awful parents.  The future father-in-law used to be a cop, and he talks laughingly about how he used to beat up people while he was on the job.  He says disparaging things about the LGBTQ community and people of color, and the future mother-in-law is passive and seemingly in agreeance.  I don’t even want to hear these stories.  My DH and I have tried to steer clear of spending time together, but it’s important to my DD that we all get along, so there are several times a year that we’re at social gatherings with them.

I’m upset because these people will be my future grandchildren’s grandparents.  Also, my DD spends a lot of time with them.  She’s starting to espouse some extreme right-wing views relating to immigration/guns/human rights, and it makes me feel sick inside.  My DH and I raised her to be open-minded and kind, but now she’s changing independently and/or she’s being helped along by these poisonous people.

I hate that this other family is going to be permanently intertwined with my own.  I don’t know how to abide by my DD’s wishes to be one big happy family when there is no way I can countenance the way these people talk about and treat others.  It sucks.

Is this just going to be my life for the future?  She’s my only child, and I feel as if I’ve lost her.

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